What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
