and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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