Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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