"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
