You can't motorboat a personality
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
