fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
