did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize