Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
