hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
