Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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