I hate your face
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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