literally had 100 drinks last night.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
