there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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