Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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