Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
