I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
