the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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