That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
