and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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