It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
