i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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