so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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