A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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