She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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