I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
