I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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