I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
