He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
