I wanna bring you to show and tell
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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