They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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