Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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