he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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