i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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