You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
