Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
