Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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