Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize