Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
