I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
