You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
