I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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