I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
