He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
