I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
