about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
