I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
