No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
