I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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