I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
