I need help removing her.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
