i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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