I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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