3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
