he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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