careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
