Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
