i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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