why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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