everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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