Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
