Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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