I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All the doctor said was why
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
